IQ or EQ

Daniel Goleman in his landmark book Emotional Intelligence asserts that IQ accounts for only twenty percent of the factors that lead to success in career.  Goleman suggests that emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ when it comes to the workplace.

I would agree.  Degrees are nice and high GPA’s are impressive, but can you work with other people?  Are you fun to be with?  Do people enjoy being around you?  Life is too short to spend the majority of your adult life with someone that has a bad attitude.

I want to work with people that care about their work, but also care about the people they work with. 

Emotional intelligence is a multidimensional capacity that includes a wide range of abilities, including motivating oneself, persisting in the face of opposition, controlling emotional impulses and regulating moods.  But there is one dimension of emotional intelligence that Goleman says is absolutely foundational.  It is empathy. 

Empathy is feeling what another person feels.  Empathy is the ability to read people and understand the feelings behind the comment.  Empathy senses that something is wrong even when told everything is fine.  Empathy notes what the body language or facial expression conveys when the voice may be saying something very different.

Empathy comes more naturally to some than to others, but that is not an excuse to miss the message behind the message. Some would do well to have some trusted advisors that help us with our emotional blindspots.  My wife has taught me a lot in this area.  

Try living into Colossians 3:12-14 this week. “…You must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony.”  (New Living Translation)

 Glen Schneiders

No Drop in the Bucket

In Mark Batterson’s newest book, Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity, he sites the following:

“A few years ago, researchers at Carnegie Mellon University created a study to discover why people respond to the needs of others.  Participants were given give one-dollar bills for completing a random survey.  But the survey was really a ruse to ensure that the participants had cash on hand to consider donating to charity.

“After completing the survey, participants were given an envelope with a charity request letter from Save the Children.  The researchers tested two versions of the request letter.  The first version featured statistics about the magnitude of the problems facing children in Africa.  The other letter shared the needs of one seven-year-old girl named Rokia.  On average, the participants who read the statistical letter contributed $1.14.  The people who read about Rokia gave $2.38, or more than twice as much.

“The smaller donations in response to the statistical letter were the result of something psychologists call the ‘drop-in-the-bucket’ effect.  If we feel overwhelmed by the scale of the problem, we often do little about it.  Statistics about massive human suffering can actually make people less charitable. 

“Researchers reasoned that focusing on statistics short-circuits a compassionate response by shifting us into an analytical frame of mind.  When people think analytically, it can hinder their ability to act compassionately.  The head gets in the way of the heart.  The mere act of calculation reduces compassion.”

I don’t know about you, but there are times I suffer from the “drop-in-the-bucket” effect.  The sheer numbers of the most recent earthquake in Haiti can overwhelm.  I can only absorb so many images of death and starvation. The billions of people across our world that live in poverty … the list goes on and on.

Jesus had the unique ability to see beyond the statistics to the person.  In the press of the masses, he saw the individual need. Over and over, his miracles occurred as the result of his compassion for the person.

Mark 1:41 (New International Version) “Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.”

Give us the heart for people.  May they never become mere statistics.  Help us see the person with the eyes of Jesus.

Glen Schneiders

Job Satisfaction

Recently I took another look at First Break All the Rules, by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman of The Gallup Organization.  Gallup conducted a mammoth research study involving 80,000 managers across different industries.  The book explores the challenge of attaining, keeping, and measuring employee satisfaction. 

The findings may surprise you. Without satisfying an employee’s basic needs first, a manager can never expect the employee to give stellar performance.

The basic needs are: knowing what is expected of the employee at work, giving her the equipment and support to do her work right, and answering her basic questions of self-worth and self-esteem by giving praise for good work and caring about her development as a person.

The great manager mantra is don’t try to put in what was left out; instead draw out what was left in. You must hire for talent, and hone that talent into outstanding performance.

Buckingham and Coffman also note that most companies are built on two flawed assumptions.  They are: that each person can be competent in almost anything given training. And, that a person’s greatest room for improvement is in their area of weaknesses. 

They say that’s just totally off the mark.  As a result, companies have spent millions of dollars training people to do things that they don’t like, and to work at things they will never do well!  Buckingham and Coffman suggest just the opposite.  They propose that companies focus first and foremost on employees’ strengths.  They say, “An employee’s greatest room for growth at work is in the area of his or her strength.  Companies need to bear down there.” 

Warren Buffett would agree.  When he was speaking to a group of inquiring students at the University of Nebraska, he said this: “The biggest difference between you and me is not money.  It’s that I get to get up every day and do what I do best.”  And then looked at them and said, “And that’s the best advice I could give you as you leave and go to work.” 

 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (New Living Translation) “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

Glen Schneiders

Derailed

Tim Irwin is the author of Derailed: Five Lessons Learned from Catastrophic Failures in Leadership.  For more than twenty years, Irwin has consulted with many of America’s most well-respected organizations and top Fortune 100 companies. He also served in a senior management post for a US-based company with more than three hundred offices worldwide. He is a frequent speaker on leadership development, organizational effectiveness, and executive selection. Presently, he is managing partner of IrwinInc, psychologists to business.

I learned about Derailed from my Twitter colleagues.  Here are a few of his best observations with some comments from yours truly.

•  “Arrogance is the mother of all derailments.”  It is too easy to insert the name of the most recent athlete, celebrity, or politician as an example.  But the fact remains, when we believe we are above the law there will be consequences. “Pride precedes a disaster, and an arrogant attitude precedes a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 (God’s Word Translation)
•  “Character trumps competence.”  Too often we let competence overshadow the character flaws.  When we do, it is almost guaranteed that the character deficiencies will surface.  I have learned it is easier to teach skills than grow character.  Give me someone less talented with integrity.  “We know that suffering creates endurance, endurance creates character, and character creates confidence.” Romans 5:3, 4 (God’s Word Translation)
•  “We judge ourselves by our intentions; we judge others by their behavior.”  This one hurts.  It hits too close to home.  I amaze myself sometimes.  I can give myself the benefit of the doubt.  Yet, I can quickly rush to judgment with others. I hope for grace from others when I fail, yet want the letter of the law for those around me. Can you say hypocrite?  “Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:32 (The Message)

 Derailed?  It doesn’t have to be that way.  May we learn from others misfortune and be the leaders God made us to be.

Glen Schneiders

Live Today Completely

I just completed reading Too Small to Ignore, Why the Least of These Matters Most.  The author is Wess Stafford, President and CEO of Compassion International.  I must confess that part of the reason I read the book was a trip to Ecuador I am taking with Stafford, along with some other church leaders. The book emphasizes how important children are to God and must be to his followers.

Stafford grew up as an MK (missionary kid) in West Africa – an area that was controlled by France.  Stafford tells of a time the French came storming into their little village.  Later in a town meeting at the behest of the village chief, the head of the Senafu tribe made a profound statement specifically to the village children, “The smaller that men can measure the day, the more angry they seem to be.”  

“They (the French) miss so much of the joy of today all around them.  Did you notice that as they stormed into our village, they didn’t notice it is the best of the mango season?  Though we offered them peanuts, they did not even taste them.  They did not hear the birds in the trees or the laughter in the marketplace.  We touched them with our hands, but they did not really see us.  They miss so much of the present time, because all they care about is the unknowable, the future.”

As the chief summarized his comments to the children of the village he emphasized two main points:

• Live today completely.  It is important in its own right.
• Tomorrow lies in the good hands of God.  Therefore, we do not need to be restless about it.

What has your day been like so far?  Have you rushed to work with little regard for the people that are closest to you?  Did you take time notice crispness of a particularly cold morning?  Did you give thanks for a warm place to sleep or the guy that invented car heaters?  Have you laughed yet today? 

It is so easy to miss the moment as we make plans that may never be realized.  Two Scriptures come to mind. 

Psalm 118:24 (New International Version) “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Jesus said, “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”  Matthew 6:34 (The Message)

Live today completely.  Tomorrow lies in the good hands of God.

Glen Schneiders

Manger Chic?

Brian Lowery in his Preaching Today blog relays a story that first appeared in a Reuters newswire report on December 3, 2009.

“Gone are the days of shepherds in tea towels and tinsel-clad angels. Britain’s competitive parents are forking out on luxury pashmina shawls and velour dressing gowns to make their child the star of the annual nativity play.  (I am not even sure what pashmina is but it sure sounds expensive!)

“The rise in so-called ‘manger chic’ has seen parents spend up to 150 pounds ($250) on arctic fur throws for children cast as sheep and ivory bridesmaid dresses for angels, according to department stores group Debenhams.

“’The amount of money that some parents want to spend on their child’s nativity play appearance would enable Baby Jesus to leave the stable and check into a five star hotel,’ said spokesman Ed Watson.

“Intense competition for places at good schools, concern about the future state of the jobs market and a drop in handcraft skills like sewing among time-pressed parents appears to be to blame.

“But Debenhams is keen not to encourage the trend.  ‘While we applaud parents for wanting to do their very best for their children, we feel certain that the story of The Nativity can still be told using very simple materials,’ Watson said.”

Personally, it is the simplicity of the Christmas story that draws me to it.  A teenage peasant girl, engaged to a simple carpenter, is hand chosen by God to bring His son into the world.  His birthplace is a manure filled animal shelter.  The first visitors to the rudimentary maternity ward were some shepherds – considered the bottom of the working class food chain. 

But the most amazing part of the Christmas story is that God would desire to be with us so much that he would humble himself to come to earth in such an unostentatious way.

Philippians 2:6-11 (New Living Translation) “Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. ⁷He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. ⁸And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. ⁹Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, ¹⁰so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”  The greatest became the least so that we could receive His best.

Merry Christmas! Glen Schneiders

God with Us

Louis Cassells writes, “Once upon a time there was a man who looked upon Christmas as a lot of humbug.  He was a kind, decent person, generous to his family, upright in all his dealings with other men.  But he didn’t believe all the stuff about the virgin birth.  ‘I am sorry to distress you,’ he told his wife, who was a faithful Christ follower.  ‘But I simply can’t understand this claim that God became man.  It doesn’t make any sense to me.’  On Christmas Eve, his wife and children went to church for the midnight service.  He declined to accompany them. ‘I’d feel like a hypocrite. I’d much rather stay at home.  But I’ll wait up for you.’

“Shortly after his family left, snow began to fall.  He went to the window and watched flurries getting heavier and heavier.  A few minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound.  It was quickly followed by another, then another.  He thought that someone must be throwing snowballs at his living room window.

“When he went to the front door to investigate, he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow.  They had been caught in the storm, and in a desperate search for shelter had tried to fly through his window. He couldn’t let them freeze, so he went to the barn and opened the doors wide and turned on a light.  The birds didn’t come.  ‘Food will bring them,’ he thought.  So he hurried back to the house for bread crumbs, which he sprinkled on the snow to make a trail for them into the barn.

“To his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs and continued to flop around helplessly in the snow.  He tried shooing them in the barn by walking around and waving his arms.  They scattered in every direction – except into the warm, lighted barn.  ‘They find me a strange and terrifying creature.  And I can’t seem to think of any way to let them know they can trust me.  If only I could be a bird myself for a few minutes I could lead them to safety…’

“Just at that moment, the church bells began to ring.  He stood silently for a while, listening to the bells peal the glad tidings of Christmas.  Then he sank to his knees in the snow.  ‘Now I do understand.  Now I do know why You had to do it.’”

John 1:14 (New Living Translation) “So the Word (Jesus) became human and lived here on earth among us.”  Christmas demonstrates the extent of God’s desire to be with us.  He wants to lead us to eternal safety.

Glen Schneiders

Reinvent Yourself Post-Recession

I had a conversation the other day with a guy that had lost his job.  Unfortunately that has become all too common in recent months.  His reaction was quite remarkable.  He viewed his situation as an opportunity to re-evaluate his current career path.  Bob Buford, who has written five books on this subject, wrote the following for Business Week:

“The second-half destination will look different for each of us, but the journey is remarkably similar…We’ve come to realize there are three important steps in this journey: You have to get clear, get free, and get going. Getting clear is an analytical process, getting free is a discipline, and getting going is a creative process of testing your way into your best fit role(s). Here’s a look at all three:

1. Get Clear

This Halftime pause provides you with an opportunity to get clear about your economic situation, your greatest strengths, what you care most about, and the difference you would most like to make in the world. At this state in your life, you can think of numerous situations in which you excelled as well as those in which you’ve struggled. You’ve probably had multiple aptitude and personality assessments. This self-awareness is an important ingredient in designing your new life. Take a minute to answer these three questions:

• My top-two strengths are:

• I am most passionate about (what cause or group of people):

• The role I play best in an organization is:

Now combine these into a simple mission statement, and identify a couple of ways you will measure the results of living out that mission.

My personal mission is to use my XXXX strengths, to have an impact on and serve XXXX (the cause or people I am most passionate about) so that XXXX (the impact I most want to make).

2. Get Free

You undoubtedly have activities and commitments that have accumulated along the way that don’t fit this new mission statement and are draining. Many times we are afraid to let go of them because they have come to define us or we have a sense of obligation. With your newly discovered (or rediscovered) sense of mission, assess every activity you regularly allocate time to and eliminate the low-value ones. Good things are often the enemy of the best. Does your career need to be adjusted as well to align better with your life mission?

3. Get Going

The first steps toward your new life are the most difficult, because they are fraught with fear of failure and the risk of letting go of what you already have and know. I might be not to launch into something untested but to begin by eliminating low-value activities to tackle a project or short assignment in your new area of interest. Many times your first-half career provides a valuable platform for your second-half impact.

By broadening your world you not only reignite the passion in your heart that often gets squeezed out during midlife, but you build a parallel track that can be useful if your life gets derailed.”

Proverbs 3:13 (God’s Word Translation) “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom and the one who obtains understanding.”

Glen Schneiders

Unselfish Is Cool

Let me make one thing perfectly clear.  I am not a University of Florida football fan.  Not after the annihilation of my Ohio State Buckeyes in the National Championship a couple of years ago, and what they do each year to my second favorite college team – the University of Kentucky.  I am not a University of Florida football fan!  But I am a Tim Tebow fan.  Tebow is the starting quarterback at Florida.

At Senior Day on Saturday, his coach Urban Meyer paid him an interesting compliment.  “I’ve never seen anything like it. … He’s made unselfish kind of a cool thing.”

How would you like to be described?  “He’s made unselfish kind of a cool thing.” Tebow is an incredible athlete that has won two national championships (and maybe three by the time this season is over) and a Heisman trophy. 

Yet Tebow spends his spring breaks and summers ministering to orphans in the Philippines.  He has actually helped change the culture of the University of Florida. According to Sports Illustrated, “Since Tebow’s arrival on campus, and in large part because of him, the University has launched a series of community-service initiatives.”

Even coach Urban Meyer has taken his family on a “Tebow-inspired  mission trip to the Dominican Republic.”

Writer Pat Forde in an article in Espn.com noted:  “None of us has seen anything like it. What makes Tebow unique in the 140-year history of this game is not just his unquenchable spirit. It’s his generosity of spirit.

“The numbers and awards are all impressive and voluminous, but they’re not what have made the quarterback a historic figure in Florida and beyond. That’s due to the winning attributes, the leadership qualities, the endless acts of charity performed off the field, the ability to graciously lead a heavily scrutinized life.”

Last Saturday, on Tebow’s “eye black” patches that players wear to prevent glare, was the notation “Heb. 12:1, 2.”  In case you are wondering, in the God’s Word Translation Hebrews 12:1, 2 reads, “Since we are surrounded by so many examples {of faith}, we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us. We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up. ² We must focus on Jesus, the source and goal of our faith. He saw the joy ahead of him, so he endured death on the cross and ignored the disgrace it brought him. Then he received the highest position in heaven, the one next to the throne of God.”

Saturday Florida plays Alabama for the SEC Championship and a chance at to play in the National title game.  I will be cheering for Tim Tebow.

Glen Schneiders

Anybody Listening?

Listening is an art.  Have you ever been talking to someone and thought, “This guy has no idea what I just said”?  Have you ever found yourself halfway through another’s comments, thinking, “As soon as she finishes, I have something important to say”? 

Active listening — the willingness and ability to hear and understand — continues to be a core element of effective leadership. When you listen well, you gain a clear understanding of another’s perspective and knowledge. Listening fosters trust, respect and openness. As a result, those all-important working relationships become more solid.

To boost your listening skills, try these tips from Michael Hoppe, author of Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead:

• Limit distractions. Move away from distraction so you can pay full attention to the other person. Yes, that means to silence your Blackberry and ignore your e-mail.
• Focus on the moment. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, not what you want to say. Set a goal of being able to repeat the last sentence the other person says. This keeps your attention on each statement.  There is nothing more embarrassing than having someone say, “Now where was I?” and have no idea what they just said.
• Be okay with silence. You don’t have to always reply or have a comment. Count to 10 or 20 before replying. The other person may continue after a pause; another person in the room may speak up. A pause in conversation also gives you a chance to collect your thoughts.
• Hold your thoughts. Encourage the other person to offer ideas and solutions before you give yours. Do 80 percent of the listening and 20 percent of the talking.
• Summarize. Restate the key points you heard and ask whether they are accurate. “Let me see whether I heard you correctly …” is an easy way to shift to your paraphrase.

The Bible says, “My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak…” James 1:19 (New Living Translation)

This Thanksgiving, try practicing the art of active listening – maybe with Grandma!  You might be surprised what you learn.

Hope you and yours enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving! 

Glen Schneiders